When you go through a deep heartbreak - you lie in your bed, you feel deeply sad, you keep thinking about it until you don’t feel asleep (which you didn’t even realize - when did you fell asleep), perhaps maybe in dreams too - you keep dreaming about it - instinctively hoping that all these might relieve you of your pain, but nothing of this does really help, does it? It, instead, makes you sadder. Still, you keep doing it even though you know that this is making you more sad but you still do it. It hurts and you knowingly keep hurting yourself. Perhaps, your soul has already come in full power silently and has already started erasing those times which is hurting you so deeply, so intensely. Those marks on time take time to be unmarked and it hurts. It hurts like, when you pull your own skin out from your body like you are flaying yourself, but even more slowly. It hurts that much. But you need this, even if you just didn’t realize yet, you need it. So, you keep hurting yourself by remembering them. This is what Mourning feels like. You are mourning for something, which was never yours - you just didn’t know yet, you forgot conveniently but now remembers finally - This hurts, doesn’t it?
This is how you mourn deeply, silently, alone-ly, reverentially, lovingly. Can’t this, the mourning, be a beautiful experience in future? Someday, you might remember it (this mourning) fondly, perhaps? This comes, when you finally move on for forever. You forgive them and self - you have just unremembered someone. Perhaps, when life sets on, a more memorable turn comes up. This is what forgiving is, living life is, saying life is so so beautiful is, appreciating what you have is, being thankful is. You live yourself. That would make you a kind person unknowingly, make you feel connected to the needy ones, to ones who are still suffering. This is how it counts.
On the same note, why can’t we celebrate happiness alone? Why can’t We be happily alone within self first?
That’s what life is: Sorrow and Happiness. There can’t be anything in between these two extremes.
So, if sorrows of the past come back to haunt you, show them the future. As Rumi says, after all life is the balance of holding on and letting go. Love Live life happily - that’s what counts!
On a funny note: Don’t mourn for anyone until they are dead :D
On a serious note: Mourning is very very precious. It’s truest manifestations exist only in a very few quantities. Once you exceed its limit - you get used to it. So, don’t mourn over un-mournable - mourn only for those that made you a better person, a good person, a just one.
Peace Out. Sabakher!
- Last Night in Delhi : End of This - Start of New.
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