A place for my erratic insights, thoughts and notions - my own look-back place. There is no set topic or content. It's all about what I like at the moment.
Some follow you and then suddenly decides to hit you from behind - you only feel the jerk.
Some hit you from the front - you both saw each other, knew - you were going to different places, your instinct told you to stay far and still one or both rame into each other causing unimaginable horror.
Some simply crash in you from unexpected, unknown turns - you always knew - turns are treacherous but then ignored it, didn’t slow down and then shit happens.
Some follow you for some time and it seems like they intend to visit places together and then they take a different turn somewhere, you didn’t even notice - you were going alone for a long time, you just didn’t know.
Some come to you and gently passes you and you appreciate their gentleness, you wish them best and hope to meet them again.
Some follow you for some time and then changes the lane, speeding away, and you look at them waving farewell, and go on at own steady pace.
Some choose to follow you, going smoothly without any hurry, feeling the breeze.
Let life follow traffic rules. Baap ki road nhi h Teri B*@s*Dk.
Because, when people asks someone to hug them, basically they are wanting them (someone) to say ‘I give you mine happiness and take your sorrow’. In essence, they are asking to share their pain, their struggle and borrow a bit of other’s happiness. And this feels great on either side - sharing sorrow comforts you and your happiness becomes double when shared, it never decreases by sharing. It feels great for both. And this only feels real when you are hugged by someone who genuinely deeply cares for you and you genuinely for them. I still remember those warmth of hugs when I had lost my mother, when I flunked GATE in engineering final year, when life threw shits in M.Sc. last semester, when I met that yogi in Banaras - they silently gave me courage and meant to say - all will be fine man, just hold on!
At this moment, I am riding on MP state Highway 31 while I am heading from Ratlam (historically known as Ratnagiri) towards Bahngarh, Rajasthan. Ratlam is well known for its pure gold and legal opium cultivation. The road is just like NH but with almost no traffic, you can easily go over 100. Will update later.
- jaora- Jain vipasana, opium
- railway junction - have you seen Jab We Meet
- Ratlam sev
- windmills - a 20 km long streak of windmills near Jaora
Another historical city which is only 72 kms from where I am - mandsaur.
This city is considered the in-law house of Ravana. home town of Ravana's wife Mandodari.
- ancient Pashupatinath Temple
The 4 months journey is about to end in 2 weeks. But then everything that has a beginning must have an end. I could have chosen infinite paths, but I chose this one. What perspective did I wish to learn, did I achieve all that mattered to me when I had started - it’s all debatable, even to me. Among all these, only beginning is known to me, that’s the true answer. Rest I don’t know, the path that I have chosen, is going to be difficult, painful and most certainly messy - the path of spiritual awakening is quite simple but at the same time very tiresome and I knew only one way, I could be in the moment - that’s riding, riding Nowhere to go Nowhere and when I ride - nothing matters, past doesn’t bother me, future doesn’t exist, what exists is the moment, that’s when I absolutely surrender to self, that’s when my mind becomes thoughtless. The only thing, at that moment, which matters to me is the beauty, the chaos around me in the truest form. This is the beginning of another beginning for me.
Coming to the topic, I am quite glad that I didn’t write much during the middle of my journey because I feel, beginning is almost always cosmic and end seems either terrifying or buoyant, and the middle, when you still have miles to cover, you are prone to most likely deviate from the purpose, and instead of processing, I simply wanted to absorb all the emotions I could have.
So here is the thing, that I do every day. Mostly, I don’t plan where to go, I chose my direction what I feel like. Though I do have some preference, I don’t like National Highways (NH) - they are indeed the best way to reach your destination in minimal time, but I don’t have any particular destination, yes I do keep a rough idea. Besides most of these NHs are so destination-oriented that they lack any character (my version). Instead, I prefer State highways that go through the heart of villages and small towns. I don’t like staying in crowded cities as well, they repulse me. Besides, staying in a village or small towns are quite affordable and you could feel how happy these people are with so little but still willing to share, to help.
I am not a great motorbike rider on Indian roads or any road, I am terribly slow according to few friends who joined me on the way for a while. What I truly am is a very careful rider, I follow all the traffic rules, I don’t race, I don’t even ride 400 kms in a day, at most I cover 250 kms in a day - as most of the time I prefer state roads and I like enjoying my solitude, the scenery, the calmness around me.
This last phase of the journey started from Bangalore (eventually leading to Delhi, that’s where I return my bike) and it took me around 3 hours to finally find the sight of a village and then I decided to stay in any hotel that is deep into any of the village and thus I booked a room in Seebi (Country Club Coconut Grove Resort). The path leading to the resort was absolutely deserted in the darkness and somehow I lost my way and ended up in a graveyard - some night birds (possibly owls) were flying and making sound. All of these, the dark, the bird, the graveyard, there was no one there - I was scared for few minutes but then I realized there is nothing to fear, all of them were alive once, and a majority of them would have been good souls, they will protect me, guide me, if needed. And then I saw a flickering light coming from distant and moved in that direction slowly and that was the resort. I was the single guest of that night (it happens quite frequently) and it was gorgeous, the peace was heartwarming. In the middle of the night, the staffs were singing songs together while having booze once they were off duty. And even that was awesome - happiness is contagious indeed. I woke up the next morning and decided to move in the direction of Goa and I did for an hour and then I took a small road leading to somewhere, I didn’t know. Waze kept screaming through the earbuds to take U-Turn, and it was pretty annoyed when I kept ignoring for many hours, I took the turns that I felt like and then I found a Dhaba which I could have never visited, had I listened to Waze. After lunch, I slept beneath a tree and it was already getting dark and then finally I listened to Waze and managed to reach Chitradurga - only 105 kms from where I started. Should I be disappointed that I am still so far from Goa. I don’t think so, because for me, the journey matters more than the destination. Tomorrow I might move in the direction of Udupi, or Haveri, or perhaps Hubli, I don’t know at this moment, right now I just want to taste the local cuisine and sleep in this placid city of Chitradurga. Saba Kher!
I saw a lady who was eating so so horribly - big bites, devouring instead of savouring, chewing with open mouth - Why so devil way? No wonder, she had extra pounds. Why can’t one eat food like a saint, small bites, feel it, taste it, chew it, praise the hands that made it possible for you to eat. For instance, if you mistreat your amah and she can’t do anything about that, she might still serve you but there won’t be any sincerity in her service. Similarly if we eat like devil, it will make you devil, there will not be any sincerity. It’s disgusting to have horrible manners, especially in social settings, just like speaking loudly.
Even in Indian style, one is supposed to clean his hands before eating and only tips of our fingers need to touch the food, however, I have seen uncountable instances where people even cover their palm with food. We, Indiana, usually share food, but I don’t hesitate to deny if I consider their habits and manners unhygienic.
A yogi in Banaras told me, if we can’t appreciate the food you are having, you are only going to fill your stomach, it will never benefit you the way it is supposed to, your mouth is not a feeding tube. If we eat like a saint, it will make you a saint, even less will be more. Food is like universe it lets you decide what you wanna be - devil or saint. Be grateful for it, Smile while you are eating, eat to live - not live to eat. Perhaps, you could follow my way, eat a very light breakfast with plenty of liquid throughout the day and one full meal for dinner - each bite tastes heaven then, whenever you eat .
