Thoughts of Ballia

I don’t believe that people could be busy all the time, though few do pretend to, because perhaps that makes them feel important about themselves, to feel that the whole world around them would collapse without them. None of that would happen even if you drop dead at this instant, however, could you accept this fact that you are mostly busy in irrelevant things which will not even matter to you merely after few years. Then why? People are never busy for things which truly matter to them. If given a choice, would you choose to go to an exotic holiday or take care of your ailing family? People choose either of them and perhaps that says a lot about their priorities. Recall the last time when you were completely un-busy (I know there is no such word) and you just enjoyed your own company. Perhaps that’s why sometimes people run away from everything to find their inner peace. 

Imagine you board a long-distance train with 99% battery and when you deboard, it’s still 99%. The journey between these two points - you shut down completely, you slowly eat your home-cooked food and slowly sip water for hours, you see people talking, sometimes they try to strike a conversation with you and yet you just stay afloat, looking at them, observing their mood without intruding their privacy, you don’t utter a single word, you look outside the window and see the ever-changing scenery and in all between, you sometimes just fall asleep. Your friends, relatives, acquaintances might get annoyed because of your sudden complete shutdown because to them you don’t even acknowledge how busy they are.

The fact remains the same - The world will keep revolving even if I don’t exist, so why can’t I just take a chill pill. I am not that important - don’t want to be one ever. Just want to be a simple human who didn’t knowingly cause suffering to anyone until I live, to be someone whom people could remember in their prayers - that’s all I ever need.

“It matters no more, I got you”

- written with phone -